1) Why can't my contacts stay lubricated for more than 30 minutes at a time? I mean, I understand when they get all foggy cuz I've gone over my two week limit or I've sleep in them for the umpteenth time this week but what the fuck is up with them drying out continuously after they been soakin at least over night in a pool of liquid?
2) What's with people who can't drive? I mean, can you really give me one good reason why you'd be going 100+ in a Civic? And what is the real benefit here? All you're going to do is gain 3 seconds of work/class time. Perfect sense. Really. Who doesn't want an extra 3 seconds to piss someone off at the office? Gosh, not me. Never!
3) I hate you eBay. You used to be hot back when you were young and sexy. All virgin and unexplored. Now you've been raped an exploited by every jerk off hillbilly with a modem trying to sell you Pamela Anderson's underwear with 'real stains' for $29820. You whore.
4) Why is it that whenever you are looking for something, you soon discover there are 300 kabillion different types of that thing. For example, when I wanted a new cell phone, soon I discovered that there is absolutely every option you can every think of in countless combinations on each phone. Same thing when I went apartment searching and now furniture hunting. I beginning to realize why I hate probability and statistics more than a little bit. Now who wants to tell me how many choices I have total if there are 298340 different types of couches, 2344 different kinds of fabrics, 492 different styles, and 9872334894984 different prices?
5) Can someone explain women to me? Fuck men. I understand I'm not a man so it is not meant for me to completely understand them, but what the flying fuck is up with women? You're happy, you're sad, you're a hoe, you're a reformed virgin, you're a catholic, you're a buddist, you're hot, you're cold -- YOU'RE A FUCKIN NUTCASE!!
6) Oh and by the way, damn you Manolo Blahnik. You and your perfectly comfortable and fabulously stylish shoes. They're so fucking exquisite - they fit right, they look right, and it's practically orgasmic. There's only one problem. Each shoe (no, not the pair - just A shoe) costs more than my monthly food budget. Unfortunately, that's a problem. Do I eat, or wear a pair of kick-ass pumps? Honestly, that's a hard call.